The Last Post

Lean here against this last post if you will, read it and then leave. Don't trouble me or come looking for me. These are words on a screen and mean nothing, don't upset yourself, this is the end of the blog that's all, and where there are endings there are sure to be new beginnings.


The world has stopped for me. I know that for all of you the ground you are standing on still feels so real and there is life and vitality in all that surrounds you - but at this moment mine is unmoving.

My world stopped the moment the man I loved threw me like a rag doll down the hall way and like the piece of limp waste that I have since become, left me slumped backwards over the banister.

To you the reader, this is a sad story for your eyes to glance over, so I wont give you any more of the ugly details. With a click of your mouse you will be back in your own realm, enveloped by it's vibrant lights and demanding sounds. I'm glad you have such a place to return to once you have finished here, I wish I could come with you - to remind myself of how it feels to be alive.

I did my best to become Hannah, I set out on this journey a long time ago. At times I truly thought I'd make it, I believed I was embarking on a worthy search. I breathed in healthy air at each significant landmark, and I dragged my battered self back each time I swerved off course.

I thought I had found it, I thought I had my future there within my grasp. The shiniest of boxes twinkling seductively in front of me. All I had to do was reach out and take it, it contained my happiness and I longed to prise it open, drown myself within.

Oh Christ I was gullible, how mislead and conned. 'We saw you coming', the voices jeered, their black gaping mouths flung open, spilling out their laughter. In my hands was nothing but an old tin box, dented and bruised. It's brilliance was tarnished and it's body held nothing.

I am that bruised and dented body, I am empty save for the dull ache that throbs through me - the pain from my injuries mocking me.
Stupid girl to think you could find happiness here, this world belongs to them, yours has long since gone.


Before you click away, in return for the moments you have spent here, take just a small piece of me with you. Life is a fragile thing, it should be nurtured and cared for. Life has no use for heavy hands and black boots.

A muse for you as you while away; if you had stilled your vicious minds and held on to your loose tongues, if you had gathered your information a little more gently, if you had thought some more before you acted, then maybe - just maybe, you could have given me the chance I needed to become Hannah.